Release

Shout, shout and let it out!
Beat a drum or howl at the moon
Scream into pillows or throw them about
Punch a boxing bag or colour a picture
Scribble a letter or compose a poem
Thunder down the asphalt
Dance to heavy metal
Release and let free anger and rage
In the body it festers, grows ugly
These toxins will rot you and shred you
Bring you down to your knees
Bid them farewell and continue in peace

New year doesn't bring change

It's a new year. Yay! I hope it's going to be better than the last. I've heard a lot of people saying this. But we're not just going to wake up on the morning of the first with everything the way we want it. New years makes us think about what we've done and what we still want to do. But nothing is going to make that change happen except your actions. You want change?

Well then go out and make it happen.

The desire for change doesn't only have to start because of new year and also doesn't have to end because of a little bump in the road. If it's a major change that you're looking at, don't let fear stop you. Fear is a control mechanism. You are made to fear things so you don't try to achieve too much and become too much. Follow your dreams and leave fear in your dust.

Big changes can be tackled like a mountain - one step at a time. Break it down into manageable bits. Don't think about the big picture because the fear of how big a job it is might stop you in your tracks. But do visualize the end point. See yourself succeeding and being where and who you want to be.

We were meant to be happy. So have a happy new year and work on making every day after it happy too.

Exploding with anger?

BOOM!

Are you prone to explosive outbursts of anger? Do you snap for the littlest thing? Blow things out of proportion? Who me? Have you ever stopped and caught yourself in the midst of one of these explosions and wondered WTF? What am I going on about?

I've been there and done that. I've stopped and taken a long hard look at myself and wondered where all this anger is coming from. It's a great thing to do a little soul searching to find the source of rage and resentment. If you know where it's coming from you can work on getting it out of your system permanently. I won't say that I've accomplished this completely, but I have made great strides. I don't blame daily stress for every outburst anymore. I know it comes from much further back than yesterday or a week ago.

Stepping up and facing it is the start to stopping the explosions. And you do want to stop them. Do you know the effects of your 'little' outbursts? Raised blood pressure. Increased heart rate. Blood sugar imbalance. Tension headaches. These can all cause a heart attack or a stroke.

But the alternative reaction isn't any better. Ok, so I won't explode and cause a scene. I'll keep quiet and boil inside. My blood pressure will still rise and so too will my heart rate. The only difference is that the anger will eat me from the inside and everyone else will think everything is cool and you're fine. If you explode, everyone who witnesses it is in no doubt about your feelings.

Which is better? Neither. We need to be careful of other peoples feelings. We need to tell them that we don't agree with them or that they've hurt us, but we still need to be kind. Being kind isn't reliant on the other person's kindness. Just because you've been hurt, doesn't mean you are given a free ticket to be mean. So we need to find better ways to get our feelings out, but in the right way. We are entitled to our feelings. Our feelings are legitimate.

How do we get it out right? Maybe a good work out session - a boxing bag wouldn't do any harm. Pin their face on it if that will help. Then we can address the incident/situation. But what if the anger goes much deeper and much further back? If the offending party is no longer available to take responsibility for the part they played in your current feelings. Then what?

I've tried a few techniques. I've shouted and screamed at them. Just make sure you're on your own when you do this or the men in white coats will be coming for you. I've written them letters and then burned the letters.

Some things have worked better than others. But my biggest lesson has been to forgive. I didn't have to condone what they did, but I had to forgive them and set them and myself free. If I didn't do this they would have continued consuming me and I would have kept them in power of my life.

Sometimes though, you want to celebrate once you've released the anger only to find it rearing it's ugly head again. But you've dealt with that anger. Maybe it's time to look at another source. We all interact with a lot of people in our lives and sometimes we're so focused on the one source that we know pushes or pushed our buttons that we missed the others. Now that we're done with the original culprit we need to go inwards to find the others and conquer them, one by one.

Have you got any good tips on releasing anger? Do they last long or do you find yourself seeing red all over again?

Here's an article on effects of anger:
http://www.help-your-child-with-anger.com/effects-of-anger.html

Feel where your mind takes you

It's just a building. Walls, windows, tiles and doors. It has no heart of it's own or blood running through it's pipes. But inside this building are people which bring it alive. They give it energy, a personality and a heart. This particular building, because of the memories and the history I have in it, evokes emotions in me. I haven't been back in years, but words and sights from way back when come flooding in as I step through the automatic doors.

They're only doors, only halls. But I bet I'd be able to go to the exact room, the exact places locked in my history. The building has changed, moved forward with the times. But pictures of how it was are etched in my memory. I haven't accessed these exact memories for a very long time.

But the place, the building bring them all forward as if it was yesterday.

This hospital is where my mother received her final diagnosis.

With this thought I search in the filing cabinet of my memory for places that hold wonderful, joyful, happy memories. I think they should be tomorrow's destination.

Where are you going tomorrow?

Modern medicine

I was sitting in the coffee shop at the hospital and saw a person wheeled in by a caring family member - I'm presuming. These are the thoughts that came to mind.

I'm alive and I shouldn't be. 20 years ago I would have died from this same condition. How marvelous is modern medicine?

I'm alive, and how I wish I wasn't. I can't do anything for myself. My family - who love me dearly - are making all my decision because I've been declared senile and incompetent. I know they want me around because it will hurt too much to say goodbye. This wonderful modern medicine is keeping me alive in my own hell on earth.

Is it great or is it a curse? To those who get to live longer and spend good, quality time with their loved ones it is magic. For those who are only surviving in a life filled with suffering and pain that will only be alleviated by the grim reaper himself? I'm sure you can guess.

For those watching? Some are glad they get to keep their loved ones, no matter what. Then there are those - shock of horrors - who think we treat animals better than humans. Now you think I've lost the plot. There are those - and I've been one of them at one time in my life - who believe the right to euthanasia an animal should be allowed to humans at a certain time and situation. I know this right is allowed to humans in some other countries - but not where I live.

I suppose that's where the problem lies. Who decides how much suffering and pain is enough?

Flow

As the water cascades down it encounters problems - rocks, plants and other water. These problems are what cause the water to find another path to reach the pool at the bottom. That path might require running over the edge of the rock and pouring into mid air creating the beauty of the waterfall.

The still pool at the bottom is not the end of the journey for the water, nor the end of it's obstacles. As the water flows down the river it finds more rocks on the river bed. As it flows it has to build strength to get itself over the rocks. The rocks filter the water, leaving it to continue it's journey cleaner and flowing with more power and strength.

You are that water trying to flow through life. As you encounter obstacles, be as the water and build strength to overcome them. If the first path you choose to your goals does not succeed, find another. You might need to take a leap into mid-air. But that leap might create something beautiful. You can still reach the same goal via a different route.

Life will continue flowing and there is no sense in lying still in a pool. Flow with life and wash over your rocks.

Drive your life

As my odometer clocks another year  I look in my rear view mirror trying to find what I have accomplished in this last year. I struggle to find anything that stands out. I've been doing the day to day things that get me by. I start to look further back beyond this last year.

I find a few things that stand out a little. I finally reach my school days and remember the future me I imagined I'd be when I grew up. I compare the imagined and reality images in my head and they are nothing alike. How did I stray so far from my path?

I grew up. My priorities changed and my interests changed. And life happened. It doesn't always happen as you imagine and plan. But is that necessarily a bad thing?

I think more about recent events in my life and how the rest of my life prepared me for them. We learn seemingly useless information on the highway of life. But when we reach an 'accident' we suddenly know what to do and how to handle it. This is only because of the lessons that we picked up along the road. Lessons that were sometimes hard and at the time felt unbearable.

So although your road might have twisted and turned in what you see as the wrong direction, know that you've taken detours and possibly a left turn instead of a right to be here where you are today. And here is exactly where you need to be.

If you're not happy with where you are, don't make a u-turn, because the road behind you has changed. That road is not the same as you remember and the people who where there before have moved on. If straight ahead doesn't look good, then take a left or a right.


You always have the choice. Take the steering wheel and drive. It's never too late.