A hard place

When looking for inspiration to write this post, I came across these quotes. There were many more, but these stuck with me:

Good decisions come from experience, and experience comes from bad decisions.  ~Author Unknown

The inability to make a decision has often been passed off as patience.  ~Author Unknown

Indecision becomes decision with time.  ~Author Unknown 

Some persons are very decisive when it comes to avoiding decisions.  ~Brendan Francis

 

Life is the sum of all your choices.  ~Albert Camus

Decision making has always been a time when I wished I could go back to my childhood and leave it up to the adults. I think that I'm so worried about making the wrong decision that I'd rather not make one at all. But I do find, as Rita Mae Brown put it, "A peacefulness follows any decision, even the wrong one." It's just the making of the decision that is so hard.

And again I find myself in that hard place today. Do we, don't we? Now I could pretend to make the decision and just follow what my husband decides. But that kind of attitude is what landed me with a career that my father chose for me. I can't complain, it earns me a good living, but it would have been nice to have had an idea a bit earlier in life as to what I, not my father wanted to do with my life. 

I believe that every decision, right or wrong (which is actually a matter of opinion), is made for a reason. If not to take us further down our right path of life, it's to teach us what we don't want and where we don't want to be. But among learning what I don't want in life, I've also learned that focusing on what I don't want will bring exactly that to me. 

So what to do? Decide what I do want, enjoy the peacefulness following my decision, focus on that and believe that Emerson was right when he said, "Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen."

 

The House is not my home

I have all of the ingredients mentioned in my readings,

That are required to make a house a home.

But still that fuzzy feeling eludes me.

There is an abundance of love.

Family and friends come by.

The 'lived in' piles of things to sort are in almost every room.

The cozy blanket on the couch for cuddling under.

But still there is no homely feeling in my mind.

It's bricks and mortar that we've made look a little better.

It's comfortable with all the necessities.

But it's not my home.

Is it that the children have little grass to play on,

Or that my in-laws are living in a cave?

The fact that going to the car in rain requires an umbrella.

Or maybe the stairs that need climbing,

Or the fear of  a child to fall down them.

Could it be the chaos of our lives that has stopped us having time to feel at home?

Maybe it's all of these or none of them.

I'd thought a year was long enough for this house to have become my home.

Should I wait and make more changes?

Should I put up the for sale sign and pack my boxes?

Can this pile of bricks become my fuzzy feeling home?

I've put it out there and now I await the return

of the fuzzy feeling that is my home.