New year doesn't bring change

It's a new year. Yay! I hope it's going to be better than the last. I've heard a lot of people saying this. But we're not just going to wake up on the morning of the first with everything the way we want it. New years makes us think about what we've done and what we still want to do. But nothing is going to make that change happen except your actions. You want change?

Well then go out and make it happen.

The desire for change doesn't only have to start because of new year and also doesn't have to end because of a little bump in the road. If it's a major change that you're looking at, don't let fear stop you. Fear is a control mechanism. You are made to fear things so you don't try to achieve too much and become too much. Follow your dreams and leave fear in your dust.

Big changes can be tackled like a mountain - one step at a time. Break it down into manageable bits. Don't think about the big picture because the fear of how big a job it is might stop you in your tracks. But do visualize the end point. See yourself succeeding and being where and who you want to be.

We were meant to be happy. So have a happy new year and work on making every day after it happy too.

Exploding with anger?

BOOM!

Are you prone to explosive outbursts of anger? Do you snap for the littlest thing? Blow things out of proportion? Who me? Have you ever stopped and caught yourself in the midst of one of these explosions and wondered WTF? What am I going on about?

I've been there and done that. I've stopped and taken a long hard look at myself and wondered where all this anger is coming from. It's a great thing to do a little soul searching to find the source of rage and resentment. If you know where it's coming from you can work on getting it out of your system permanently. I won't say that I've accomplished this completely, but I have made great strides. I don't blame daily stress for every outburst anymore. I know it comes from much further back than yesterday or a week ago.

Stepping up and facing it is the start to stopping the explosions. And you do want to stop them. Do you know the effects of your 'little' outbursts? Raised blood pressure. Increased heart rate. Blood sugar imbalance. Tension headaches. These can all cause a heart attack or a stroke.

But the alternative reaction isn't any better. Ok, so I won't explode and cause a scene. I'll keep quiet and boil inside. My blood pressure will still rise and so too will my heart rate. The only difference is that the anger will eat me from the inside and everyone else will think everything is cool and you're fine. If you explode, everyone who witnesses it is in no doubt about your feelings.

Which is better? Neither. We need to be careful of other peoples feelings. We need to tell them that we don't agree with them or that they've hurt us, but we still need to be kind. Being kind isn't reliant on the other person's kindness. Just because you've been hurt, doesn't mean you are given a free ticket to be mean. So we need to find better ways to get our feelings out, but in the right way. We are entitled to our feelings. Our feelings are legitimate.

How do we get it out right? Maybe a good work out session - a boxing bag wouldn't do any harm. Pin their face on it if that will help. Then we can address the incident/situation. But what if the anger goes much deeper and much further back? If the offending party is no longer available to take responsibility for the part they played in your current feelings. Then what?

I've tried a few techniques. I've shouted and screamed at them. Just make sure you're on your own when you do this or the men in white coats will be coming for you. I've written them letters and then burned the letters.

Some things have worked better than others. But my biggest lesson has been to forgive. I didn't have to condone what they did, but I had to forgive them and set them and myself free. If I didn't do this they would have continued consuming me and I would have kept them in power of my life.

Sometimes though, you want to celebrate once you've released the anger only to find it rearing it's ugly head again. But you've dealt with that anger. Maybe it's time to look at another source. We all interact with a lot of people in our lives and sometimes we're so focused on the one source that we know pushes or pushed our buttons that we missed the others. Now that we're done with the original culprit we need to go inwards to find the others and conquer them, one by one.

Have you got any good tips on releasing anger? Do they last long or do you find yourself seeing red all over again?

Here's an article on effects of anger:
http://www.help-your-child-with-anger.com/effects-of-anger.html

Feel where your mind takes you

It's just a building. Walls, windows, tiles and doors. It has no heart of it's own or blood running through it's pipes. But inside this building are people which bring it alive. They give it energy, a personality and a heart. This particular building, because of the memories and the history I have in it, evokes emotions in me. I haven't been back in years, but words and sights from way back when come flooding in as I step through the automatic doors.

They're only doors, only halls. But I bet I'd be able to go to the exact room, the exact places locked in my history. The building has changed, moved forward with the times. But pictures of how it was are etched in my memory. I haven't accessed these exact memories for a very long time.

But the place, the building bring them all forward as if it was yesterday.

This hospital is where my mother received her final diagnosis.

With this thought I search in the filing cabinet of my memory for places that hold wonderful, joyful, happy memories. I think they should be tomorrow's destination.

Where are you going tomorrow?

Modern medicine

I was sitting in the coffee shop at the hospital and saw a person wheeled in by a caring family member - I'm presuming. These are the thoughts that came to mind.

I'm alive and I shouldn't be. 20 years ago I would have died from this same condition. How marvelous is modern medicine?

I'm alive, and how I wish I wasn't. I can't do anything for myself. My family - who love me dearly - are making all my decision because I've been declared senile and incompetent. I know they want me around because it will hurt too much to say goodbye. This wonderful modern medicine is keeping me alive in my own hell on earth.

Is it great or is it a curse? To those who get to live longer and spend good, quality time with their loved ones it is magic. For those who are only surviving in a life filled with suffering and pain that will only be alleviated by the grim reaper himself? I'm sure you can guess.

For those watching? Some are glad they get to keep their loved ones, no matter what. Then there are those - shock of horrors - who think we treat animals better than humans. Now you think I've lost the plot. There are those - and I've been one of them at one time in my life - who believe the right to euthanasia an animal should be allowed to humans at a certain time and situation. I know this right is allowed to humans in some other countries - but not where I live.

I suppose that's where the problem lies. Who decides how much suffering and pain is enough?

Flow

As the water cascades down it encounters problems - rocks, plants and other water. These problems are what cause the water to find another path to reach the pool at the bottom. That path might require running over the edge of the rock and pouring into mid air creating the beauty of the waterfall.

The still pool at the bottom is not the end of the journey for the water, nor the end of it's obstacles. As the water flows down the river it finds more rocks on the river bed. As it flows it has to build strength to get itself over the rocks. The rocks filter the water, leaving it to continue it's journey cleaner and flowing with more power and strength.

You are that water trying to flow through life. As you encounter obstacles, be as the water and build strength to overcome them. If the first path you choose to your goals does not succeed, find another. You might need to take a leap into mid-air. But that leap might create something beautiful. You can still reach the same goal via a different route.

Life will continue flowing and there is no sense in lying still in a pool. Flow with life and wash over your rocks.

Drive your life

As my odometer clocks another year  I look in my rear view mirror trying to find what I have accomplished in this last year. I struggle to find anything that stands out. I've been doing the day to day things that get me by. I start to look further back beyond this last year.

I find a few things that stand out a little. I finally reach my school days and remember the future me I imagined I'd be when I grew up. I compare the imagined and reality images in my head and they are nothing alike. How did I stray so far from my path?

I grew up. My priorities changed and my interests changed. And life happened. It doesn't always happen as you imagine and plan. But is that necessarily a bad thing?

I think more about recent events in my life and how the rest of my life prepared me for them. We learn seemingly useless information on the highway of life. But when we reach an 'accident' we suddenly know what to do and how to handle it. This is only because of the lessons that we picked up along the road. Lessons that were sometimes hard and at the time felt unbearable.

So although your road might have twisted and turned in what you see as the wrong direction, know that you've taken detours and possibly a left turn instead of a right to be here where you are today. And here is exactly where you need to be.

If you're not happy with where you are, don't make a u-turn, because the road behind you has changed. That road is not the same as you remember and the people who where there before have moved on. If straight ahead doesn't look good, then take a left or a right.


You always have the choice. Take the steering wheel and drive. It's never too late.

2012 End of the World

There are movies, documentaries, books and articles predicting the end of the world this year. While these originate from the fact that the Mayan calendar goes no further than the 21 December 2012, the conclusion that this is the end is not definitive. There are various schools of thought that have been shared.

This is the time for cleansing where the world as we know it will be gone. But there will be a whole new world where the spiritually enlightened will be left to live in a peaceful, harmonious place, communicating by telepathy. Or like with many other dooms day predictions nothing is going to happen and it's all noise.

What are your thoughts on the various predictions? Do they change when you learn new things, or read about people dragging dogs behind cars and torturing one another? A world gone mad. Maybe the Wolfs in Clive Cussler's Atlantis Found had a good plan in building gigantic ships to house the chosen until the cataclysm had passed. Then this "perfect" nation would replace the decimated population. All our problems solved! Of course someone has to decide who belongs to this "perfect" nation.

How about a cleansing where the population explosion is reversed  - The Universe decides - along with the destruction of all industry and housing? Level the playing fields and take us back to caveman times. Hunting and cultivating food, but no one has a gun or car or any advantage over others. No starvation for anyone and we get a chance to build a great new eco-friendly world where everyone is taken care of. We have the knowledge learned in this world to build it better. Don't we? If you catch extra food, use it to barter for something you don't have. We all own the land. Insert your utopia features here. Does this sound like an 'apocalypse' you might want to happen?

The Day is less than 6 months away. Have you made any arrangements for the day? Maybe booked your December holiday in the Drakensberg mountains in South Africa, the new highest altitude in the world according to the 2012 movie? Making sure you're in the air traveling across date lines to actually miss the day entirely? Nothing?

Let me know your thoughts and your plans. I have no plans, other than to live today. If I sit around and wait and nothing happens, many opportunities would have passed me by and I would have wasted a whole chunk of my life. Even an apocalypse won't give time back to me. And if it does happen, it might be the last time the sun sets for me, because there is no guarantee that I'll make it to the new world.


Enjoy your day.

My Jersey

I have an old grey jersey
It's sleeves are longer than my arms
It has a hole or two
From years and years of wear
I've had this very jersey
For over 13 years
It used to be my husband's
Those many years ago
But on a visit when I had no jersey of my own
I borrowed his and never gave it back

When winter comes
I dig my old friend out
It probably shouldn't be worn in public any more
For it's long and baggy
Bent all out of shape  
Untidy looking to some
To me this warm and comfy jersey
Is like soul food on a cold winters night
It's a hug from an old friend
When I put it on
It doesn't hug me tight
It fits just right

This old grey jersey gives me
Comfort, warmth and safety
It's like a baby's blankie
Or their dummy that they hold so tight
This jersey is my pacifier
On a dark cold night
Out of fashion
Out of date
I don't care
I love this jersey

Speak your truth and liberate yourself

If you are something like myself and shy away from speaking your truth for fear of hurting someone or losing someone, rest assured that if you have children they are bound to get you speaking some of your truth.

Young children can not speak for themselves and it is therefore our responsibility as parents to do that for them. Not all parents take up the challenge and some still close their throat chakra and keep their truth to themselves, but not loving, responsible parents. As hard as it is for me to speak up, I did it. I said what I needed to say and stood up for my child.


You'll be amazed at the results when you do this. It's not to say that you need to be nasty or attacking, just truthful about how you feel.

I've done it twice now. First for my child, and then I stepped out and released some of my own personal truth and it was so liberating. And you know, the world didn't explode or come to an end. No one shouted at me or told me to get lost. I was listened to and taken note of. And all because I worked from a place of love and gave my feelings a voice of truth and feeling directly from the heart. I didn't accuse or shout or demand.

I also decided that I would let my truth be heard, come what may. What was the worst that could happen? I wasn't saying these things to hurt anyone. I was saying them to set things straight.

They say the truth will set you free. I now understand exactly what this means. I'm not talking about the difference between telling the truth or telling a lie. I'm talking about saying what you feel or keeping everything to yourself and stewing in your thoughts. I feel that I can walk a little taller and the weight on my shoulders is a little lighter.

It's a very difficult step to take. You imagine all that could go wrong. You fear abandonment, ridicule or a fight - and if you're anything like me, conflict is another thing that you don't deal with very well.

But opening up, even just a little bit to start can actually make the world a different place for you to function in. You start to realize that it's not fair to expect other people to play guessing games and figure out how you feel and why you react the way you do. I'm not saying that all of these truth telling sessions will go as well as mine did. There are people that will react badly. But that is through no fault of yours. That is because of their insecurities and their need to always be right.

Lift your heart and your head and speak.

Protecting oneself from bad news

How do you protect yourself from bad news? 

I've stopped actively listening to the news, but I haven't stopped talking to people and bad things happen to people all around and they tell you about it. I have never thought of protecting myself before now and have found myself absorbing these horrible stories. My heart aches for the people involved and I find myself thinking about these things over and over again.

I don't think that my spirit was meant to endure negative energy for prolonged periods of time. My rehashing the stories I've been told and feeling the pain and sadness for them is of no use to anyone. But I can't seem to stop my mind from seeking out this sadness. I know bad things happen and I have empathy for the people it happens to, but I don't want to bring myself down for days sometimes, because of these bad things.

So how to stop it?

I'm not going to stop talking to people and I'm not very well going to tell them that I only want to hear the good things they have to say. That is not what life is about. Having relationships with people is letting them tell you about themselves and what's going on in their lives, including the bad stuff. Sometimes talking about it is a step in their healing process. You should be honored that you can help in that process, but that doesn't mean that you have to take the bad stuff with you.

Here is a little advise I've been given. I haven't had a chance to try it out yet so I can't tell you if it helps. Go outside into nature and breath deeply. Breath in clean air - relatively depending on where you are and breath out the old, stale air. Walk bare foot on mother earth, allowing her to absorb all the negative energy from your body. Meditate. Imagine a golden light extending more than a meter from your body. The significance of a meter is that your aura extends a meter from your physical body, and this golden light needs to extend slightly past your aura to protect it when coming into contact with another persons aura.It's like putting yourself in a golden bubble of light.

I would love to hear what you do to protect your spirit. If you haven't been doing it up to now and try any of these, let me know in the comments how they work for you.

Spoiling the view

Why do you go to the botanical gardens?

I go to enjoy nature, breath some relatively fresh air and get the children out the house and away from electronic devices. I also enjoy the little bit of exercise that I get from walking around the place. I relax and connect to my inner soul and sometimes take my shoes off to feel the grass beneath my feet and interact with the earth. I want to teach my children to enjoy and cherish the beauty of nature and the earth.

But how disappointing when I get there to find the remnants of a party strewn all across the lush lawns.The lawn isn't looking so natural with champagne bottles and blue serviettes lying all over the place. And the rose garden should have bark chips keeping the soil damp, not ice-cream wrappers. 

Who are these people that come to one of the few places we have left in the cities to be with nature and leave a trail of destruction and filth behind them? If they are allowed to continue behaving as they please these havens of nature will soon only feature in scrapbooks of what our city used to look like.

How do you suggest we sort them out? 

I thought an entrance fee might help. It does to some extent. But there too I have found litter spoiling the view. Charge a higher fee and you'll have less people and you'll also have those who believe they paid entrance, so they can do as they please. 

If you don't appreciate the view of nature, then don't go to these places. Keep your rubbish at home with you and invite your like minded friends to take their litter with to the party at your house.

Take my hand

Multitasking mom

Cigarette in the right hand, cellphone in the left hand. I'm not exactly sure which hand is supposed to be controlling the steering wheel and which the gear lever. Oh there it is. Cigarette is transferred to mouth and then right hand crosses the body to go down and change gears.

Thank goodness your little girl is fast asleep in the back in the safety of her car seat. I wouldn't want her to see how her mother is putting her life in danger. Then again I am assuming you are her mother. Hey, maybe not. Maybe that's why you're not really that bothered about her having a safe journey.

Thankfully I, the person you would see in your rear-view mirror if you bothered to look every now and again can be patient sometimes. I will not cut you off. I will not sit right on your back bumper. Because although pretty amazing, your multitasking has slowed you down, just a little. Any other driver would have zoomed past you shouting and throwing signs. But I have my children in the car.

I worry for your daughter's safety and all road users who might come within a 100 meters of you. From the look on your face, this is a social call with a friend possibly. Now if that friend was in my car and seeing what I was seeing, I'm sure they would hang up and offer to call when you' reached your destination. Damn, I'm sure they'd even offer to buy you a hands free kit.

I feel as sorry for your daughter (if she is yours) as I do for the person climbing into the taxi with a driver who drives as they do to earn more money and a greedy taxi owner who won't fork out the money to buy new brake pads. Same feeling goes for the child who is having a fabulous time jumping from the back seat to the front while the driver works their way through traffic. My pity doesn't extend to that same driver when their child hurtles through their windscreen to meet their maker.

Think people! Do your children really mean that little to you? It costs nothing to teach a child, from little that their place while in a moving car is in the back with a seat-belt around them. Secured and protected as best you can, just in case. Even if you can't afford a car seat (which should be a per-requisite before you're even allowed to create a child), at least strap them in the back seat, behind one of the front seats.

Pretend you care.

Shorter

I am walking a little shorter these days,

As the weight of the world on my shoulders

pushes me into the ground.

I feel I can not walk up straight and tall.

I walk a little shorter each day,

As this weight consumes me.

I feel it in my every joint and muscle.

This weight that makes me walk a little shorter than I am.

As I breath in and out,

Concentrating on nothing.

Searching for clam and peace.

I let a breath out,

and feel my shoulders lift.

I take air in,

And on the out my shoulders lift a little more.

In disbelief I try again,

And feel some weight follow the air

on it's journey out of my body.

Today I walk a little taller.

A little straighter.

A little calmer.

A little more at peace.

Month of love

It's the month of love. The month where you spoil someone special.

Well I am herewith staging a formal protest. I totally disagree with this practice. It makes those who don't have someone special feel even more lousy than they did before February came along and splattered hearts all over the place.

I put forward a new strategy for this "month of love!"


Love yourself!!!!!
 

There are a lot of us out there who need to show more love to ourselves. Whether single or not.
We put ourselves last.
We criticize ourselves way more than anyone else - normally in jest, to hide pain. 
We are much harder on ourselves - finding fault where we would not in others.


Find the love of your life this month, within yourself. Be kind and gentle with you. Yes, you are a human and make mistakes. Get up, dust yourself off, give yourself a big hug. If need be give yourself a gentle wrap over the knuckles for your stupidity.  Then look in the mirror and tell your reflection, "I love you!" This takes a while before it feels comfortable, but just do it every day.


There is a saying that nobody can do a better job than you yourself. Then love yourself like nobody else can!

Do something that you enjoy, not necessarily something that suits everyone else. But remember that loving yourself also means looking after yourself.

Checking in

Are the broccoli and celery sticks rotting at the back of the fridge? Has the chaos of back to school and back to work taken over?

 

So how is the last year of your life, or the last year of your life as you know it going? Or is the end of days just mumbo-jumbo hype that has passed by so many times already? Whatever you believe, I hope you're having a fantastic year up to now.

Have you remembered to ask for help? Or are you so consumed by your problems that you've forgotten? Are you trying to figure out how to fix it? Have you lost your belief? Are you still struggling with whether you deserve the help?

You do!

Stop doubting yourself. Start loving yourself and living a great life. If you haven't stuck to resolutions, made in-roads on your goals, don't beat yourself up about it. Start today!

Forget yesterday. There is only today and what you do with it. Stop worrying about the how of the solution. Put your problem out there and wait for the how to come to you.

While waiting, live, love and believe.

I want

"I want to win the lotto. Today! Then I can tell them to shove their job."

To want implies that I lack something. A lack of anything is always negative.

So when I keep saying I want to win the lotto, or I want a new job I am surrounding myself with negative energy. But what is the alternative? If you hate your job so much that you can't bear to get up in the morning and face it, how do you turn that into a positive?

I've read books telling me that I need to tell myself that I already have enough money and a great job and it will be so. Also not to focus on what I don't want, like this current job. Don't is negative and if you focus on it, you'll bring it into being.

I've tried the positive affirmations, but I found it hard sticking with them. A good place to start though is to have goals and visualize them happening. Focus on that being the reality, which is much like the affirmations, but you're seeing it in your minds eye instead of ranting on and on to yourself and starting to feel insane.

I'm not saying you shouldn't try the affirmations. I just didn't get it right. I work in pictures. So seeing it is easier than saying it for me.

Not that I seem any less insane as a smile crosses my face for no apparent reason. No reason that is, that others can see. But I can see my vision getting closer and closer. So close I can almost touch it. I know that it's going to happen.

Now I need to condition myself into thinking that I already have and don't want anything. It's going to take a lot of reminding before it becomes a habit. It is the re-education of my brain, from years of wanting to a future of having.

Can you have and not want to make it reality?

Wish of the moment

We all have dreams and wishes for our lives, but these can change in an instant. Yesterday you were wishing to win the lotto or find a job and today your wish is for you recently injured family member to recover. Or your dog - who is just another family member to return home safe and sound after running away.

We all have long term goals. And never more than at this time of year do they come into focus. At least for those of us who celebrate a 1st of January new year. But for any of us that celebrate any kind of new year, it is the time when we feel we have a fresh start and can conquer the world. But life starts happening and very soon we lose our momentum and are back dealing with the struggle of every day life.

Our goals and dreams are with us and we longingly think about them every now and again, but we're too busy thinking about the problem of now. What is today's crisis that I need a miracle to get through?

I'm here to tell you that there is a miracle for each day and each goal and dream, long term or short. Your wish of this moment and the next can come true. You just need to ask and understand that the Universe has a time line. My mom always used to say que sera sera (what will be, will be). I believe though that we can influence what will be and if we learn to ask for help, we can get it. Be it angles, guides, God or whomever/whatever you believe in. Ask.

Let this be the year where we all learn to ask for help. Asking is not enough alone though. You need to believe that you are worthy of the help and that it will come. But don't decline or ignore the help, just because it comes in a different form to what you were expecting.

Ask and believe in your wish of the moment.