It's up to the Universe

The time has come. I need to relinquish control. It's not like I was ever really in control of the situation, but I was trying very hard. It's very difficult to let go and adopt the what will be, will be attitude. Let the Universe take care of it.

It is human nature to try and control everything that happens in our lives. Of course, we are the drivers of our lives, so we need to direct them. But it's not healthy to be in control all the time, as it causes stress and disappointment. But handing the problem to the Universe actually takes a weight off my shoulders and allows me to go on with the business of living life.



I'm not saying that I manage just to cut myself off and let go. It's a bit of a process. It's easy to say, "well if it happens it happens", but actually stopping the mind process takes a little longer. But if I fill my time with living life, like baking with the kids, writing this blog and doing fun stuff, my mind doesn't have time to dwell on the problem.

I can't deal with all my problems this way, as some of them do require action from me, but for those that are not within my realm of influence, I need to let go. The Universe has got it covered. It's not to say I can't chat to my angels and guides and ask them to help with the situation. But I can't ask them to handle it and then still try and make things happen. I have to believe.

There is a plan for me and I need to let it unfold as it should. As the song by Charles & Eddie goes, "For everything there is a reason." I need to stop questioning and let it happen and where I can I need to do and make my choices carefully.

So here goes. "I ask my divine angels to take control of selling our house. I ask for the grace to accept that it is not going to happen to my timetable but rather to that of the Universe. I thank you for your help."

Self Help or Help Self

I start with such enthusiasm. This is great! I can do this! My goal is ABC... and I'm going to reach it in 1234... This book is going to get me to where/who I want to be.


Page 1... That's exactly what I want. Oh yes, I do that. Page 2, 3, 4... This book is going to help me so much. I should have bought this ages ago. This author knows exactly what they are writing about. I must look for more books written by this person.

And so I continue to read this book to a better me and before I'm done, I've bought a half dozen more. And then lying in bed reading I get to that very important part... the exercises (Not necessarily physical, but writing stuff down, or meditating, or...). I'm in bed and it's late, so I'll start tomorrow.

And tomorrow the kids are sick or I have to work on a homework assignment. The next day the dogs need to go to the vet and I need to visit my friend. By day 7, I'm starting to admit, all be it very sheepishly that there is either something wrong with me, or the book.

I started the book because I felt there was something in me I could improve on, so it must be me and not the book. But hang on, if the book is that great, why couldn't it get me through to the end. Maybe there's a different kind of book for people like myself who can't complete the exercises. Maybe I need to give up on the books and attend a course where
someone is watching me do the exercises.

So I have a house full of half finished self help books which are great books, just none that I've managed to finish. Let me take that back. I have finished reading some, just not done the exercises which are critical to the program working.

I'm not shooting these books down as I have managed an exercise here and there and it has helped, but any ideas on how I do help myself where I can't cop out because I'm in bed and it's too late to start with the exercises?

Relax or Not

Alcohol can be a wonderful muscle relaxant. Problem with this is that the tongue is one of those human muscles that get relaxed after substantial consumption. And when one's tongue is loose I believe that the truth is spoken. "It is very hard to drink and lie at the same time (#1)."

It doesn't matter if that truth is harsh or not, because when alcohol is involved in large amounts all inhibitors are suppressed and tact, sensitivity and all those good things are out the window. It's not to say that the person being told the truth is not sensitive. They might not have consumed as much as the truth teller and therefore still actually feel something.

And once the words are out the mouth there is no getting them back. The recipient stews over them and sometimes cries over them. And the truth teller? Well most of the time they don't even remember saying what was heard. So for them, there is no stress and life carries on as usual, except they don't quite understand why the other person seems miff.

So should the truth teller be forgiven their drunken words? Should the recipient accept the honesty and look deeper and be less sensitive and know it's a truth they needed to hear, even though it should have been said with a bit more care? Do we all need to drink less, or be less sensitive?

A hard place

When looking for inspiration to write this post, I came across these quotes. There were many more, but these stuck with me:

Good decisions come from experience, and experience comes from bad decisions.  ~Author Unknown

The inability to make a decision has often been passed off as patience.  ~Author Unknown

Indecision becomes decision with time.  ~Author Unknown 

Some persons are very decisive when it comes to avoiding decisions.  ~Brendan Francis

 

Life is the sum of all your choices.  ~Albert Camus

Decision making has always been a time when I wished I could go back to my childhood and leave it up to the adults. I think that I'm so worried about making the wrong decision that I'd rather not make one at all. But I do find, as Rita Mae Brown put it, "A peacefulness follows any decision, even the wrong one." It's just the making of the decision that is so hard.

And again I find myself in that hard place today. Do we, don't we? Now I could pretend to make the decision and just follow what my husband decides. But that kind of attitude is what landed me with a career that my father chose for me. I can't complain, it earns me a good living, but it would have been nice to have had an idea a bit earlier in life as to what I, not my father wanted to do with my life. 

I believe that every decision, right or wrong (which is actually a matter of opinion), is made for a reason. If not to take us further down our right path of life, it's to teach us what we don't want and where we don't want to be. But among learning what I don't want in life, I've also learned that focusing on what I don't want will bring exactly that to me. 

So what to do? Decide what I do want, enjoy the peacefulness following my decision, focus on that and believe that Emerson was right when he said, "Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen."

 

The House is not my home

I have all of the ingredients mentioned in my readings,

That are required to make a house a home.

But still that fuzzy feeling eludes me.

There is an abundance of love.

Family and friends come by.

The 'lived in' piles of things to sort are in almost every room.

The cozy blanket on the couch for cuddling under.

But still there is no homely feeling in my mind.

It's bricks and mortar that we've made look a little better.

It's comfortable with all the necessities.

But it's not my home.

Is it that the children have little grass to play on,

Or that my in-laws are living in a cave?

The fact that going to the car in rain requires an umbrella.

Or maybe the stairs that need climbing,

Or the fear of  a child to fall down them.

Could it be the chaos of our lives that has stopped us having time to feel at home?

Maybe it's all of these or none of them.

I'd thought a year was long enough for this house to have become my home.

Should I wait and make more changes?

Should I put up the for sale sign and pack my boxes?

Can this pile of bricks become my fuzzy feeling home?

I've put it out there and now I await the return

of the fuzzy feeling that is my home.

Have you seen them?

Boohoohoo (Sniff). Yes, I'm crying. I've had my first sighting and it's absolutely devastating. There aren't a lot, but just the sight of those few pink and white splashes is enough to send me into hibernation. If only I was a bear.

If you haven't guessed it I'm talking about the beautiful cosmos that has started springing up on the side of the road. Unfortunately, even though they're flowers, they don't signal the sign of Spring, but rather that, that, that.... I can't even say it. My lips already feel frozen together.

And we don't even get snow in Gauteng. Well, not very often. For me the snow actually makes that season better. I don't know about snow this year, but I'm betting this year is going to be freezing, considering all the rain we've had and not such a sizzling summer.

Nobodies even going to notice the few kilos I've lost, because when they see me I'm going to look like a marshmallow with all the layers of clothes. It's wonderful to lose even 2 kilos, but the more you lose, the more you seem to feel the cold.

Hibernation is really looking appealing for Winter. There I said it. Get ready, it's on it's way.

Reliability dies

The Oxford definition for reliable: of consistently good character or quality; dependable. Anybody know where you can genuinely use this word, or should we be requesting that it be removed from the dictionary? Just try and do renovations to a house where people do what they say they will when they say they will. I'd love to hear from anybody that has had this happen....

The silence is deafening. Just as is the silence in my house which should be filled with people cutting through the roof to install skylights and other people tiling and painting. Alas the painters and tilers are reliable, but the people who should have installed the aluminum doors and windows only got the sizing and opening direction right on one out of four of their master pieces. So to them we owe our 2 to 3 week delay. As the builder said, the suppliers will promise anything to get the deposit, but once you've parted with that you are at their mercy. 

I try to be reliable. I can be relied on to be late for almost anything. Oh hang on. The definition says a good character and I don't think being late counts. I do score on the reliability count when it comes to being there for my friends should they call. I wonder if people who don't regard reliability as a quality they need to have, expect it from others. I can almost guarantee that they do.

Just checked my watch and it's 9:15. Maybe that's the installers for my kitchen counter tops at the gate, who were supposed to be here at 9:00. Nope! Disappointed again. I'm told that this is how the building industry works, but I have my doubts that this is limited to this industry alone. I've had other experiences which lead me to believe that reliability is just not important to everyone anymore.

Heart attacks and many other ills are the result of the stress caused by these inconsiderate individuals. Then again, it's not always one person, but a culture bred in companies, where the bosses have no regard for it. And do they even realize the pain and stress they cause. Do they even care that somewhere down the line they could or maybe even have killed? Yes, their lack of consideration causes the heart attack of someone who has been let down by so many. And that person dies. So combined they are responsible for the death. The death of the person and that of reliability.