There it goes

I watch as it passes by down there. I don't place myself above it for any reason of superiority, but rather because I am watching it happen and like flying in a helicopter, above is a great vantage point. 

I feel disjointed and disconnected from my own life. As it happens I am but a mere observer. This is such a strange feeling inside of me. Things are happening and I'm watching. I've stopped myself from getting too emotionally involved with certain situations so as to avoid disappointment, but at the same time I'm  stopping myself from living my life and experiencing everything, good or bad. 

I see the days go by on the calendar but couldn't tell you what I've been doing, or accomplished. In limbo, waiting. But waiting for what. I'm not even sure. I could speculate, but I don't really have the energy to analyze it nor the inclination.

I go about by chores and make sure they're all done, so I am living my life am I not? I don't think I've let anybody down or missed any important appointments. My family seem all fine and are carrying on. So it is good is it not? 

Ah ha! That's it. I've made sure everyone else is ok, but I haven't taken that same time and care with myself. I have dreams and aspirations, but am not making the time for them. It's time I fall from the sky, back into my life and start directing it.

Here I go!