Wish of the moment

We all have dreams and wishes for our lives, but these can change in an instant. Yesterday you were wishing to win the lotto or find a job and today your wish is for you recently injured family member to recover. Or your dog - who is just another family member to return home safe and sound after running away.

We all have long term goals. And never more than at this time of year do they come into focus. At least for those of us who celebrate a 1st of January new year. But for any of us that celebrate any kind of new year, it is the time when we feel we have a fresh start and can conquer the world. But life starts happening and very soon we lose our momentum and are back dealing with the struggle of every day life.

Our goals and dreams are with us and we longingly think about them every now and again, but we're too busy thinking about the problem of now. What is today's crisis that I need a miracle to get through?

I'm here to tell you that there is a miracle for each day and each goal and dream, long term or short. Your wish of this moment and the next can come true. You just need to ask and understand that the Universe has a time line. My mom always used to say que sera sera (what will be, will be). I believe though that we can influence what will be and if we learn to ask for help, we can get it. Be it angles, guides, God or whomever/whatever you believe in. Ask.

Let this be the year where we all learn to ask for help. Asking is not enough alone though. You need to believe that you are worthy of the help and that it will come. But don't decline or ignore the help, just because it comes in a different form to what you were expecting.

Ask and believe in your wish of the moment.

Balancing act

Ricky Lankford said that balance is the ultimate goal.

I was told that once I find balance, everything would fall into place. Well who doesn't want everything to fall into place and life to be easy? No constant struggle of making the right decision or making a decision to start with. But I've found myself asking, "What exactly is balance?"

Is it that high score that you get on the WII fit balance board if you get it just right? That is balance, but that's going to improve my posture, not change my life. Then there is the current favourite among many. Work-life balance. Work–life balance according to Wikipedia is a broad concept including proper prioritizing between "work" (career and ambition) on the one hand and "life" (Health, pleasure, leisure, family and spiritual development) on the other.

Work-life isn't the right balance for me. My belief is that work is part of life, so I'm going for life balance. But still, what does that mean?

Having thought about it lately, I believe you are balanced when you reach the end of the day feeling that you've given those around you what they needed and most of all you have received what you need. You are happy and content and feel fulfilled. Nothing is missing.

The balanced are those that are not running around in a flat spin trying to get the jobs for the day done. They are the cool, calm and collected individuals who have it together. It doesn't mean that they don't have a lot to do, they just know how to get things done and deal with whatever comes there way, even a major crisis diverting all their plans. Life isn't perfect for them. They also experience speed wobbles, but they know how to get back on an even keel.

I know I'm not one of these balanced individuals yet, but with dedication and focus I can get the scales level. The Bridge Maker summarizes the balanced life very well and offers good pointers on how to achieve this life.

"Living a balanced life is the ability to take all that life throws at us from our careers, home, health and everything else, and put it in a central location so we can re-frame it in order to better understand it, learn from it and grow from it." http://www.thebridgemaker.com/how-to-live-a-balanced-life/.

 Beliefnet also had some good advise to offer - http://www.beliefnet.com/Inspiration/2009/How-We-Restore-Balance-in-Life.aspx. There are many more, just Google "life balance" and take from them what you need.

Good luck in succeeding in the ultimate goal.

Santa lives

 At what age does Santa become a fairytale? When my 7 year old wasn't willing to part with a seldom played with toy to give to charity, I threatened that there would be no toys for Christmas. Her reply naturally was that Santa would bring her toys.

I thought 7 is a good age to learn the truth. "Santa doesn't exist." Bad move!!! The tears started and the argument ensued that he most certainly does exist. "He's not going to exist for you this year," was my quick recovery. Is she going to fall for it? Wait for it.... Explanation accepted and crisis averted.

So 7 isn't the right age, at least not for her. I don't remember how old I was when I discovered mom put the pressies under the tree and not some fat guy in a red suit and white beard.

But the truth will have to be balanced when it does come out, because I still want my youngest to enjoy the fantasy of childhood, and that includes still thinking that there is a Santa for a few years to come. I mean she's only 2 and a half and deserves the same luxury my eldest has had of imagination.

A luxury that others don't have. Which was why I was trying to reduce their stockpile of toys to donate to the less fortunate. And then the logic of my 7 year old struck!

"Mommy, why doesn't Santa visit the poor people?" Think, think, think. You can't say he doesn't exist, unless you want her world to fall apart again. "Um, because poor people don't stay in the same place all the time, so he can't find them." Silence while this is being processed. "Oh, ok." Thank goodness, she's accepted that. But just for good measure I added; "And Santa is using us as his helpers by giving toys to the poor."

Happy that all was well with the world she trotted away. So Santa lives on for another year in our house.

Sad Play

This morning I found myself, not for the first time since I've had kids, wishing I'd gone and done some kind of psychology course. Specifically, child psychology. How do I help my 7 year old child who is crying because at break time she needs to FIND friends? Find, because they:

• already have enough for the game they are playing - it only needs 4 players
• don't want to play with her
• play for a little while and then leave
• have run out of class, without taking her with

This is a little girl who has such a soft heart.And listening to this, my heart breaks.

Now I'm one of those mom's who automatically asks, "What did you do to them?" I don't believe my daughter is beyond reproach or perfect. She doesn't seem to think she's done anything wrong. Was she being bossy and the kids have had enough? No? It could still be that, but now I start to think that maybe it could be the other kids being nasty. I've seen it before with my own eyes.

But why? She doesn't dress funny, or have bad breath or any birth marks that the kids can tease her about. So why don't the kids want to play with my precious little girl. It's not like she's trying to make new friends. She's been at school with them for a year, some for two years. How do I get to the bottom of this without lining the culprits up against the wall and giving them 20 questions? I'm sure moms and dads would love me for that, not to mention the school.

I've brought it up with the teacher before and she spoke to the class, but here we are again. I know I can't protect her from all the lessons in life, and I shouldn't. But how do I give her the right advise to deal with this lesson?

There it goes

I watch as it passes by down there. I don't place myself above it for any reason of superiority, but rather because I am watching it happen and like flying in a helicopter, above is a great vantage point. 

I feel disjointed and disconnected from my own life. As it happens I am but a mere observer. This is such a strange feeling inside of me. Things are happening and I'm watching. I've stopped myself from getting too emotionally involved with certain situations so as to avoid disappointment, but at the same time I'm  stopping myself from living my life and experiencing everything, good or bad. 

I see the days go by on the calendar but couldn't tell you what I've been doing, or accomplished. In limbo, waiting. But waiting for what. I'm not even sure. I could speculate, but I don't really have the energy to analyze it nor the inclination.

I go about by chores and make sure they're all done, so I am living my life am I not? I don't think I've let anybody down or missed any important appointments. My family seem all fine and are carrying on. So it is good is it not? 

Ah ha! That's it. I've made sure everyone else is ok, but I haven't taken that same time and care with myself. I have dreams and aspirations, but am not making the time for them. It's time I fall from the sky, back into my life and start directing it.

Here I go!

                                                                                                              

 

It's up to the Universe

The time has come. I need to relinquish control. It's not like I was ever really in control of the situation, but I was trying very hard. It's very difficult to let go and adopt the what will be, will be attitude. Let the Universe take care of it.

It is human nature to try and control everything that happens in our lives. Of course, we are the drivers of our lives, so we need to direct them. But it's not healthy to be in control all the time, as it causes stress and disappointment. But handing the problem to the Universe actually takes a weight off my shoulders and allows me to go on with the business of living life.



I'm not saying that I manage just to cut myself off and let go. It's a bit of a process. It's easy to say, "well if it happens it happens", but actually stopping the mind process takes a little longer. But if I fill my time with living life, like baking with the kids, writing this blog and doing fun stuff, my mind doesn't have time to dwell on the problem.

I can't deal with all my problems this way, as some of them do require action from me, but for those that are not within my realm of influence, I need to let go. The Universe has got it covered. It's not to say I can't chat to my angels and guides and ask them to help with the situation. But I can't ask them to handle it and then still try and make things happen. I have to believe.

There is a plan for me and I need to let it unfold as it should. As the song by Charles & Eddie goes, "For everything there is a reason." I need to stop questioning and let it happen and where I can I need to do and make my choices carefully.

So here goes. "I ask my divine angels to take control of selling our house. I ask for the grace to accept that it is not going to happen to my timetable but rather to that of the Universe. I thank you for your help."

Self Help or Help Self

I start with such enthusiasm. This is great! I can do this! My goal is ABC... and I'm going to reach it in 1234... This book is going to get me to where/who I want to be.


Page 1... That's exactly what I want. Oh yes, I do that. Page 2, 3, 4... This book is going to help me so much. I should have bought this ages ago. This author knows exactly what they are writing about. I must look for more books written by this person.

And so I continue to read this book to a better me and before I'm done, I've bought a half dozen more. And then lying in bed reading I get to that very important part... the exercises (Not necessarily physical, but writing stuff down, or meditating, or...). I'm in bed and it's late, so I'll start tomorrow.

And tomorrow the kids are sick or I have to work on a homework assignment. The next day the dogs need to go to the vet and I need to visit my friend. By day 7, I'm starting to admit, all be it very sheepishly that there is either something wrong with me, or the book.

I started the book because I felt there was something in me I could improve on, so it must be me and not the book. But hang on, if the book is that great, why couldn't it get me through to the end. Maybe there's a different kind of book for people like myself who can't complete the exercises. Maybe I need to give up on the books and attend a course where
someone is watching me do the exercises.

So I have a house full of half finished self help books which are great books, just none that I've managed to finish. Let me take that back. I have finished reading some, just not done the exercises which are critical to the program working.

I'm not shooting these books down as I have managed an exercise here and there and it has helped, but any ideas on how I do help myself where I can't cop out because I'm in bed and it's too late to start with the exercises?